


take away my pain

by cold_flame



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam is in this, Body Horror, Hallucinations, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Unrequited Love, and his relationship is briefly touched upon, didn't think it'd be worth tagging tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-03 05:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15812517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cold_flame/pseuds/cold_flame
Summary: Sheith Angst Week prompts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited, and also the first thing I've written in a while, so please be gentle with me.

Keith had never really considered himself a show-off. For most of his life, he had tried to keep his head down and not draw attention, with varying degrees of success, if his discipline record was anything to go by.

But all bets were off when he was in the simulator. Flying came so naturally to him, and he was _damn_ good at it. He knew his classmates resented him for it, so he made an extra point to make a show out of it. Maybe it was spiteful, or even petty, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when everytime he broke a new record Shiro would look at him with this mix of awe and pride that did weird flippy things to his stomach.

He had never felt more content or at peace than when he was with Shiro. Making the older man proud was the only thing that mattered to him. Ever since he had bailed Keith out of juvie and offered him a future, Keith found himself inexplicably drawn to him, almost as if it was fate for them to meet. The feeling only got stronger the more he got to know the man behind the legend. Shiro wasn’t just some young hotshot pilot. He was also a massive dork who ate too much junk food and made dumb jokes about math of all things.

Keith wasn’t super familiar with having friends, or how to navigate feelings. But he also wasn’t stupid. Walking in on your older friend at the gym wearing a sweaty tank top wasn’t really supposed to be something to dwell over for the next day and a half. Nor was staring at his lips and using every ounce of self-control in your body to resist from trying to dip him like in those bad movies you would watch as entertainment in the foster home you used to live in.

So no, Keith wasn’t stupid. He knew all those things didn’t necessarily qualify as “friendly” feelings. But he was slightly petty, so he had no problem taking vindication at the fact that while he certainly wasn’t the only cadet attracted to Shiro, he was the only one who got most of his attention. And if he took advantage of that attention to show off a bit, well, who could blame him?

_Mission completed._

He stepped out of the simulator, ignoring the whispering of his classmates. He went immediately to the scoreboard and couldn’t help the shock from clearing his normally impassive face. He felt a rough hand clap his shoulder and saw Iverson scrutinizing the screen above him.

He was oddly silent, and Keith was sure he was about to get yelled at for showing off.

“Well done, cadet,” the older man grunted, and Keith could only salute haphazardly as his heavy footsteps retreated.

He wasn’t really sure how long he stared at the screen for until a low whistle from his left side broke him out of his stupor. Keith turned to look at Shiro, tall and handsome, as always.

“You beat my record,” Shiro said softly, an unreadable, almost pouting expression on his face that had Keith feel a pang of guilt.

“Um,” Keith started awkwardly, “Sorry.”

Shiro huffed and turned to him with a grin so bright Keith could feel his cheeks starting to flush.

“Sorry?!” He was incredulous. “Keith, you’re amazing!” He crushed him into his chest and Keith could feel himself start to combust. After what seemed like years, but was probably only a couple seconds at most, Shiro stepped away, his hand still remaining on Keith’s shoulder. “I’m so proud of you.” Keith’s eyes widened and he couldn’t hide the warmth in his face now.

“Thanks,” he whispered, trying not to let his voice catch. Shiro’s face turned from delight to concern immediately.

“You feeling okay?” He put his hand to Keith’s forehead, and wow, that hand felt really nice, but it felt like a betrayal right now.

“I think I just need to step outside for a minute,” he muttered numbly, as he started walking away, only barely hearing Shiro asking him to meet up with him later to celebrate.

It was only when he was out of sight that his heart started to decelerate. He probably looked ridiculous, standing in the middle of the hallway, hair disheveled, a hand on his chest, and a manic grin on his face. He couldn’t bring himself to care. He thought about how warm Shiro’s voice was and the firm muscle in his arms as he hugged him. This was more than attraction. This was _love._ And even with his chest feeling constricted, he felt the lightest he’s ever been.

* * *

 

Unfortunately, said celebration didn’t come until almost a week later, which gave Keith some time to process his newfound feelings. And what exactly he was supposed to do about them.

He wanted Shiro to know. After everything he’d done for him, he _deserved_ that much.

But there was that traitorous part of him that told him it was a bad idea. Shiro was his friend, but he was also technically his teacher and a relationship with a cadet could get the older man in a lot of trouble. He also had no idea how Shiro felt about him. Shiro was amazing and kind and got along with everyone, but from the very beginning, he specifically singled out Keith and gave him extra attention like taking him off campus, hanging out with him outside class, doing the above and beyond that no one else has ever bothered to do.

It had to mean something, right? Keith figured the only way to truly find out was to ask the man himself, which was exactly what he was steeling himself to do while they looked over their menu at an old diner right outside the campus. 

“You’re quieter than usual today,” Shiro broke the silence, his eyes still roving over the screen in front of him. 

“I was just thinking,” he responded absently. 

“Hmm, really?” Shiro teased, “That’s new.”

Keith nudged him under the table to wipe the smug look off his face, and then froze at the ease of it. It was now or never. “Actually,” Keith’s sudden serious tone caused Shiro to sit at attention, “There was something I wanted to talk to you about, if that’s okay.”

Shiro smiled softly. “Of course.”

Keith took a deep breath. “Do you--?” They both jolted as a loud, obnoxious piece of music went off. 

“Shit, sorry, I have to take this.” Keith watched with curiosity as Shiro went to go around the corner for some privacy, phone against his ear. He couldn’t hear what he was saying, but he did admire the broad slope of his shoulders and easy smile that came to his face. He saw his thick brows raise as he craned his head to view out the window. He almost didn’t notice when he slid back across from him at the booth. 

“Hey, Keith, there’s someone who’s going to be joining us. Is that okay?” 

And whatever nerve Keith had was gone. And before he even had time to think, he saw another man, a few years older than him, brown hair and glasses, slide in next to Shiro. His eyes widened as he recognized the strange newcomer as his astrophysics instructor from the Garrison. The instructor, Lieutenant Weston if he remembered correctly, nodded at him in greeting. 

“How are you doing, Keith?” he asked politely. Keith squirmed in his seat, the comfort he shared previously with Shiro, replaced with wariness. 

“Um, good I guess, sir,” he mumbled awkwardly. The man chuckled. 

“At ease. We’re not in class, so just Adam is fine.” 

“Okay.”

“Maybe I can finally get to know the kid Takashi adopted behind my back,” Adam said lightly, the glass of water he was drinking hitting the table covering up the sound of Keith’s heart fracturing.

Keith didn’t process Shiro’s response, only seeing a playful shove as the walls he had slowly let down built themselves back instantaneously, even thicker than before.  
As if sensing his distress, their server came back with their food, and if Keith immediately shoved food in his mouth as an excuse to not have to talk anymore, then no one would have to know. He would just pretend like he didn’t notice the curious expressions Shiro gave him for the next half hour or like it wasn’t taking every ounce of willpower to just bolt off and leave the two adults alone.  
It was when he saw the movement from in front as Adam got up from his seat that he tuned back in. 

“I’ll see you at home tonight, babe?” he asked, looking straight at Shiro. Shiro smiled lovingly, a look he’s never given Keith, he noted bitterly, and leaned up to kiss the other man on the cheek. 

“Of course.” 

Adam held his hand out. “Good luck with this one, Keith,” he said, pointedly ignoring Shiro’s huff of mock offense. “See you in class tomorrow?” The other man’s tone was light, but the unwavering stare was scrutinizing, judging even, and it made Keith itch like he was under a microscope. He narrowed his eyes, and tilted his chin in defiance, grabbing Adam’s hand with as firm a grip as he could manage. 

“See you tomorrow, Adam.” 

Adam smirked in what Keith assumed to be approval or amusement of some sort and promptly left.

* * *

Keith was silent the entire ride home, the warmth that had been there previously, replaced with cold numbness. Shiro stopped the cruiser in its designated spot, but Keith felt rooted down. 

“You alright?” Shiro asked.  
"Yeah,"Keith lied easily, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You tell me. You got all twitchy when Adam came. If he made you uncomfortable-“

“He didn’t.” Keith cut him off harshly. He saw Shiro flinch and backtracked guiltily. “He seems like a nice guy.”

Shiro nodded in agreement. “He is.”

Keith crossed his arms tightly, the dull ache in his chest starting to throb. It wasn’t Adam himself that bothered him, but more something he said. Keith had never really considered Shiro to be old, but looking at him now, tall, broad-shouldered, so comfortable in himself, and then looking at himself, small and unrefined in comparison, he was suddenly acutely aware of their age difference, which only made Adam’s comment sting all that much more. 

“What did he mean when he said you ‘adopted’ me? Does he think I’m your son or something?” he asked quietly. 

Shiro laughed drily. “He didn’t mean anything, Keith. He was joking.”

Keith knew Shiro was trying to ease his fears, but his nonchalance only served to rile him up more. 

“But is that what you think of me as?”

Shiro raised an eyebrow skeptically. “No,” he said slowly, confusion apparent. “I’m only six years older than you.”

“But why would he say something like that? It doesn’t make any sense,” Keith huffed, his body tense and ready to fight. 

“It was a _joke_ , Keith,” Shiro answered him patiently, his large hand a sense of comfort on Keith’s narrow shoulder. “If anything, you’d be like a little brother.”

Keith felt himself visibly deflate, whatever pieces of his heart that were left currently being crushed to dust. “Right.”

“You said you needed to talk about something. Is this what’s been bothering you?”

Keith didn’t answer, the sharp pain gnawing at his chest, as he pointedly stared straight ahead, and not at Shiro’s face. He knew the minute he would see the kind look in those stormy eyes, all his resolve would be gone. 

“I should head back to my dorm,” he said tightly, as he opened the door.

“Keith,” He paused as Shiro called out to him gently. He turned his head and immediately melted into those eyes. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know.” _Except this._

He didn’t cry that night. 

Or any time after. 

But the shards of his heart slowly started piece themselves back together as the weeks went by. He could never really bring himself to look into Lieutenant West’s eyes or to not feel the stab of jealousy any time he saw him and Shiro together, but he was getting there. 

Shiro didn’t love him. 

But he cared about him, and saw him as a little brother. 

It was enough. 

It _had_ to be. 


	2. Hallucination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith pays a visit to Shiro at the arena

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Hallucinations and some body horror. I have never written an action scene in my life.

Shiro lost track of how long he’d been stuck. Days, weeks, months, he could never be sure. And he was starting to think it didn’t matter anyway. He followed behind the prison guard on his way to the next fight. Logically, he knew it’d probably been a few days since his last match, but the exhaustion that ran through his sore and scarred body told him only a few minutes had passed. 

He heard the cheering as he stepped in the arena, knowing full well that it wasn’t because they liked him. The gash on his face from his last match throbbed, almost from anticipation. As with every other time, his handler pushed him in roughly, tossing him nothing but a sword to work with. Shiro warily flicked his eyes up towards his opponent, and stood up straight, his face and stance hardened. He had learned the hard way early on that any sort of weakness shown would be exploited. 

To his mild surprise, his opponent wasn’t too much larger than him, but he knew better than to think that increased his chances. Each match had gotten increasingly more difficult to come out alive, let alone win, and this would be no exception. 

He immediately began to look for a weakness in the creature, a spindly, almost bug-like thing, when a heavy mass hit his gut. 

He hit the floor wheezing, weapon flying out of his hands even further, and felt a sharp pain in his side. He probably cracked a rib which meant he needed to end this before it got worse. And fast. But he only barely had enough room to dodge, rolling away gracelessly, as the creature came flying back towards him, claws extended.  
He frantically looked around for his weapon. He spotted it a good ten feet away and made a break for it, gritting his teeth as his side screamed in agony. He heard the creature getting closer behind him, its hard shelled body to make impact. His vision started to blur as the sword was just out of reach. He wasn’t gonna make it. The screams from the audience faded into a dull roar, but one stood out, distinctly human and passionate. 

_“Fight!”_

He jumped in the air, and flipped, grabbing the sword and stabbing forward, directly facing the creature. The screeching was akin to nails on a chalkboard and some sort of fluid came out of its eye and sprayed all over his arm. 

As he pulled the sword out, prepared to put the thing out of its misery, his arm seized, the weapon falling to the ground. He screamed at the white-hot pain shooting up his arm like lightning. He saw the flesh and skin burning away, the smell unbearable, and his eyes rolled in the back of his head as he fell to the ground, feeling himself fade away. 

_Please. Just make it stop._

“Is that really what you want?” That same familiar voice from earlier asked. As if in a dream, they hovered right over him, young and small, midnight eyes full of fire, just like he left him. 

“Keith,” he whispered. 

“Shh, shh, shh, hey,” Keith shushed, caressing his cheek, “It’s gonna be okay. I can make all of this go away.” mJust seeing the younger boys face, so open and innocent, brought all of his well-kept emotions to the surface. 

“I’m so sorry, Keith,” he whimpered, tears staining his face, filthy with dust and the blood of others. Keith only cocked his head, eyebrows scrunched and arms crossed, as he assessed him. Shiro put his arms across his face in shame. 

“I should’ve never gone on that mission. I should’ve just stayed behind like everyone wanted me to. Like _he_ wanted me to.”  And Shiro only felt more self-loathing as Adam's face came to mind. How disappointed he'd been when he left the lounge that day. 

“You think you would’ve been happy doing that?” the other boy asked calmly, bringing his attention back to the present. 

“Atleast I would’ve been _alive_ ,” Shiro mumbled bitterly. 

“You’re alive _now.”_

Shiro laughed harshly. “Not for much longer.”

Keith’s eyes sparked angrily. “So what now? You’re just gonna give up?”

“What choice do I have?”

“You _always_ have a choice, Shiro! _You’re_ the one that taught me that!” Shiro only stared wide-eyed, unable to form a response. He blinked, and Keith's face became that of mocking indifference. “After everything you’ve fought for, is this really how you wanna go out?”

“Keith, I-“

“Victory or death.” Keith smirked in amusement, his eyes cold, and Shiro felt a little sick seeing the resemblance to _them_ , “Which do you choose?”

His eyes fluttered open, as he saw a dark mass hanging over him. As he saw the creature lunge towards his stomach, teeth bared, he willed the scent of burning flesh out of his mind, grabbed the knife, and stabbed forward, eyes tightly closed. He only heard a nauseating squelching sound and the creatures limp body falling on his stomach, its weight painful. 

He didn’t register anything after that. His vision started to become fuzzy, with the only clarity in the shape of a lean dark-haired boy smiling at him, his eyes full of warmth again. 

“ _That’s the Shiro I remember.”_

And everything became dark. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream about Sheith and Voltron with me on my [tumblr](http://waitformethistime.tumblr.com/)


End file.
